Starting to get Excited

In less than a month, I'll be in the middle of orientation week.  I realized tonight that I'm starting to let myself be Really Freaking Excited about this.  Oddly, it hit me while I was shopping.


I somehow managed to lose my favorite water bottle and have spent a whopping eight bucks on water in the past two days.  I also needed to have my new glasses adjusted, slightly, as they kept slipping down my nose.  So, after spending 45 minutes in the car driving home, I got back in the car to make a trip to Lens Crafters and Target.

I grabbed my water bottle, browsed through the clearance clothing, and somehow ended up in the kitchen stuff with a coffee maker in my cart.  I do need to buy a coffee maker.  I don't need to buy one today.  I texted my new roommate to see if she had one and, sure enough, she does.  I was actually disappointed that I have no reason to spend money that I don't really have.

Even after realizing that I don't need to buy anything today (and that I really shouldn't spend the money today), I still wandered through Target for half an hour, then went to Best Buy to drool over what will soon be my new computer (the Retina MacBook Pro).

I don't need to drool over my new computer, especially not at Best Buy where they're charging more than the Apple education store.  I don't need to wander Target drooling over kitchen stuff.  I do need to clean, pack, read, and knit.  Thankfully, stores close at nine.  I came home and cleaned my bathtub, like a productive, responsible adult.  

Right now, I should be winding down and heading to bed, but I can't shake the excitement that gripped me as I set that coffee maker in my shopping cart.  In fewer than four weeks, I'm going to be a freaking law student.  It's something I've been working toward for years, even before I dared breathe the words "law school" to anyone I know.

In less than a month, I get to see the result of the tears I shed over my personal statement, the grief I got for retaking a 165 on the LSAT, the elation I felt when I saw the 170 in my e-mailed score report, and the shock I felt when I heard the words "full tuition scholarship."  I'll get to face the fears that I've been holding onto, both the internal ones and those prompted by external sources.  (I have a friend who's a rising 3L, I think I've mentioned her before.  I'm calling her T, and I have to say that, for all that I adore T, she's scaring the shit out of me.)

I still have a lot to do between now and next month.  I can't let the excitement cloud that.  Still, I think I'm allowed to let myself be excited, sometimes.  I think it's good for me.